speak low.

 You said, "I choose whom I want to be kind to."

Do you know how happy you made me feel?
But to what did I owe the honour? You're a diamond. So precious I'm not sure I deserved your act of kindness.

I sometimes think you know I've fallen for you. Your voice somehow sounds as if you know how to say things. And in what manner.

I go crazy when I hear you speak softly.

confession #2

It was that noon, we were working. Someone showed up and she was telling us something about someone else, who's outside the coffee shop we were at--not sure the what about anymore. I can't even remember now who the person was and the person she was talking about anymore.-- And you were trying to peek to where that person pointing at. You probably don't remember this, but as you were trying to have a look, you pushed your head towards my chest for a moment. And I recall I was thumped inside, and trying hard to hold my breath. Hoping you wouldn't hear how my heart beats so fast. And can't help but smell the scent from your hair. I was sure I would disappear into thin air.

The existence of dismay.

So you finally know now who I really am.
Should I be prepared to lose you? But you've been showing me nothing but kindness. Does this mean you actually not afraid of me?
I told you I wouldn't do anything to harm our relationship. But all these feeling towards you I'm not sure I can just stop it.
That I keep wanting to see you. I keep wanting to hear your voice. I keep thinking about you. I keep wanting to have you near. And that I'll go crazy when I don't.

Dopamine

The magician just did it again.
I just need to see you and be healed again.

On what authority you are to occupy this mind?
That my heart desires you?

If  I were I to taste your kindness
on what permission?

For if I had to wake up
and not to have you in my life
I better not exist.

truth

If the truth can change human behaviour in so many levels, then the human relationship shouldn't be so complicated. Sanhedrin wouldn't have to quarrels against each other or with the Roman Empire. People would have live in peace with each other.

But compassion stays relevant. Kindness speaks about understanding and therefore, messages accepted. It holds the capacity to transforms people. It even transcends humanity.

Gains.

Maybe this is just what's best.
To not write anything about you.
I thought by writing you down would help me to get you out of my system. When it's just useless.
I just keep thinking about you.

The thought that I inhibit your time when you must have wanted it to have been spent with someone else, made me small. To be such an intruder. But grant me just this one thing I need to write. Our conversation is what I treasured most. And hearing your thoughts and to be able to comfort you if I really was able to. They were all my gains.

Look at me being foolish even now. I just kept writing about you.

ecstasy

The most beautiful face
The most haunting eyes
The heaviest lips
They are yours

I'll spend my days thinking of you
But there are too many things told me not to

You are the end of me.

Parallel Universe

In so many probabilities,
we are probably lovers or sworn enemies.
That is probably why I am now like this.

Sworn enemies paid me more senses. Because it could be the reason why I am now holding these all kinds of affection towards you. I am paying back and make peace to all those wasted energies hating you.

But lovers? Shouldn't I be tired of you already by now? Or at least shouldn't all those feelings subside now? All those wanting? Why is that I still have all these feelings abundantly over you? Even in another universe?

Free.

From where I stand right now
my dreams are all memories.

It was all started from the very first time
where my innocence was taken away.
The first moment I learned
about the bitter truth.

I learned too how the wind felt
when I closed my eyes.
How it can still comfort me
even when no one can.

It was then when I learned,
how I long to be free.

a wish to dissapear (again)

Whatever feelings I have right now shouldn't be important. I don't think I should be like this.

Because you're too precious to me.

digging the past.

To some people whose dignity been abused,
all they want is to protect theirs.
To some, they don't think it is any more valuable.

The past, I had wished to forget,
will I ever?

There were so many tunes I had wished to forget too. So many traces I've had buried. Yet you with your innocent questions have asked me to remember. And I don't think I'm ready.

왜 나는 너 너무 좋아해요

너무 무서워.

Molecule of Iodine is lesser than Three Molecules of Uranium

Can we just see and talk to each other without having works to do? Over a movie on a couch maybe or dinner with ramen watashi no tomodachi?

Why am I so obsessed with you. Can I just stop thinking about you for a second?

O but seriously who looked the way you did when working? Why do you have to look so good even when you looked exhausted?

Molecule of Iodine(I) is lesser(<) than Three (3) Molecules of Uranium (U)--- too much I am about to go insane.

<3 about="" am="" go="" i="" insane.="" much.="" p="" to="" too="" u="">

私の友達

I wanna see us slowly.
I need to know why did we meet in this life.

What made me see you the way I did.
With what eyes?
How did you shine brighter than any diamond?

Why do I listen to you? Why did your voice echo sweetly in my mind

What makes you in the height of necessity to me right now.

Function.

You are my greatest distraction
but also the one who keeps me going.

You stop and stir me.

You are my self weakener
but also the one who heals me.

You are my Ares yet also my Athena.

You are my chaos
and my cosmos.

confession #1

When you caught that tiny toy attached to my backpack and made me smile somehow.

That night when you talked freely, probably because of the beers we had, and you told me a bit about your relationship with that person. That was the first time I'm trying to get a hold of myself not to do anything foolish. And then you asked why do I have to treat you so kind.

You stared sadly, and I was about to go crazy. I wanted so much to make you forget about your pain to the point that I almost kiss you.

losing my mind

If you knew how much I want you right now, I don't think you'll ever forgive me.

Your voice. Your face. Your lips. Your hands. Your scent. Your gaze.

This wanting of you it just keeps getting bigger every time I see you.

I wish I am ten years younger

Because I really feel like
I am such a kid right now.

Why do I like you so much?
Can't you just become fat or bald or something?
Why are you so beautiful?

I even forgot sometimes that you
belong to somebody.
And when I do remember,
jealousy gets the worst of me.
I hate knowing you are with someone else.
And this crush on you. Will it ever go away?

I must have done something right.

Because to have met you, is my gain.

The probability for us to meet possibly started long before. Until we've finally met and got each other introduced, but I don't think I actually saw you even then. Until I saw you.

It was on a different occurrence, after that. One afternoon when I smiled at you because both of our stranger's eyes met. And you just stood there, probably unsure of who I was. I waved you a hello to slay the awkwardness. And you waved back, still unsure.

Life is funny that way. Now my best nights are the ones I spent talking with you. You are a very dear friend. The one I wish to hear from. The one I can't imagine being without. The one I wish to protect. The one I trust. The one I go crazy about.

Antithesis ((-x)=(x))

"What if I turned into the antithesis." "Like what, a dork?" I asked you stupidly. "What am  I now, then?" You asked. "What are you implying to?" I asked back instead.

"If the antithesis of me is a dork, what am I now?"

Shouldn't you know by now already? The equation is pretty clear. But you are probably right. You are to me now, more than you should ever know.

And the antithesis, is just one of the many probababilities of functions you could become into.

Because you bright diamond, you are my cosmos.

happiness is

a conversation with you before I am off to bed.